Know Your Mormon – July 31, 2012

Mormons believe that the “heavenly father” they pray to is really an exalted man who lives on a planet near the star base Kolob, and is not the Heavenly Father of the Bible at all.

Mormons believe than, on Kolob, Mother Kakistroca gave birth to 62,055 healthy perfect children. This includes 3,500 twins, 1,897 triplets, 987 quadruplets through septuplets. On the planet Kolob, the gestation period is 90 days. Births on Kolob yield almost all females. This is mandatory so that polygamy can be practiced by all males.

Know Your Mormon – July 28, 2012

Mormons believe the Archangel Michael came down to earth with several of his celestial wives, and became Adam in the Garden of Eden.

Know Your Mormon – July 27, 2012

Mormons expect Christ to return to their temple in Missouri, but they haven’t built the temple He’s supposed to return to, because they don’t own the property. It is owned by the “Temple Lot Mormons” who have plans of their own, and won’t let the Salt Lake City group buy it.

The site of the Independence Temple, or Temple Lot, is located southwest of the intersection of Lexington Street and River Boulevard in Independence, Missouri.

Debate this, Willard

The Republican “debates” have been anything but. A debate is a contest in which two or more divergent parties present their viewpoints and then go on to present facts, trying to conclusively prove their point. There is logic involved. There is truth. There is point/counterpoint. Ideally, the audience is swayed to one participant or the other after making a rational logical decision based on the persuasiveness of the candidates’ facts. Instead, audiences inspired by the insipid rhetoric and raised on the Jerry Springer model of TV etiquette have decided to cheer Gov. Perry’s death count and boo a United States soldier for being gay.

What we’ve witnessed lacks debate’s most vital element – facts. What makes my blood boil is that participants are allowed to blather the most heinous jingoist lies on national media without any counterpoint. When Willard the Arrogant sets aside his boilerplate platitudes and lies through his magazine cover choppers, boldly stating that Barack Obama wants to remake his (White Folks’) America into a “Socialist European” country, who’s there to counter? Who’s there to bust them on their lies? Certainly not the co-conspirators onstage. The moderators, almost without exception, have been unable or unwilling to pin the spin, wilting under the glare of Willard’s smarmy smile or the jiggle of Newt’s fearsome jowls.

Before Herman and Michelle bowed out…

These are not debates, they’re beauty contests with occasional jabs at the prom queen (Willard) and the judges. They should have been broadcast from Atlantic City. It’s been pre-canned talking point after talking point with Willard R preening, Newt G pontificating, Rick  S proselytizing, Ron P pestering, Rick P posturing, and Jon H pandering. Note: Huntsman is perhaps the most disappointing; he’s a smart rational guy and for a hot minute it looked like he’d actually speak truth to power. He has since surrendered his credibility, spouting inflammatory rhetoric like the rest of these clowns. Maybe the right wing is getting what they want. They’re certainly getting what they deserve.

The saving grace of these puppet shows is that they’re lousy prep for the real contests to come. None of these bad actors stands a chance in the Presidential Debates – Barack Obama will carve them a new one. And all he has to do is tell the truth.